Resolute: 2013

Happy 2013!

And now that makes 5 times today that I have typed the date incorrectly and had to go back to change it, even as I am in the process of acknowledging that a new year has begun. It will take me until at least halfway through January to get this figured out. I don't deal well with change, have I mentioned?
We had a nice quiet New Year's Eve, exchanged a champagne-sweet kiss at midnight, and I promptly fell asleep on the couch for several hours before dragging myself up to bed in the wee hours of the morning. Always nice to start the year with a crick in one's neck, yes? I hit the gym yesterday morning for the first 5k of the year (recently my running has been killing me... I would have loved to log a few more miles on 1/1 but this was all I could get through without crying yesterday). Dan made a yummy brunch and then headed off to work, and I spent the rest of the day deep cleaning. I made a lot of progress, but still have so much left to do... I wish I could take a week off just to organize my poor house. We still have stacks of wedding gifts that are now supporting more stacks of Christmas gifts, all patiently waiting for a home. One of these days.
I made two kinds of New Year's Resolutions this year: abstract, lofty, I'm-going-to-be-a-perfect-specimen-of-a-human-being-by-next-December-31, and realistic, specific, I-might-be-a-little-bit-better-but-basically-still-the-same-old-me-just-slightly-more-experienced-by-next-December-31. I hesitated on whether to share them with the world, because although I enjoy making resolutions, I don't so much enjoy looking back throughout the year to congratulate or castigate depending on whether or not I'm actually following them. I decided on a compromise -- here is a list for now, but don't hold your breath for a follow-up post... unless I do a great job at keeping them, in which case I might write about how I'm totally on track to be perfect by December. My blog, my rules.

The Specific Goals

Read a book every month
I have officially become terrible at reading. I was so excited to finally have some time to read over our honeymoon and brought several books that I was excited about, but smart me picked the most dense, slow read I owned to crack open on the first airplane. I did read a ton, and I really liked the book... and returned a week later, less than halfway through the damn thing. I'm still trucking along, but it's likely that this will end up being January's book... if I can finish it in the next month. I am going to try hard to make more time for reading in the evenings, which will mean putting down the phone/iPad, turning off the tv, and finding some way stay awake for more than half a page. Here are a few of the books I'm hoping to get through this year:

Try something new in the world of fitness every month
My gym time is incredibly boring. I run, I spend some time on the elliptical when I need a break, and I run some more. While sometimes sticking to what you know is best, I often feel guilty that I'm not really taking full advantage of the pricy gym membership. My focus will still be on running, but this year I'm hoping to mix it up a bit: take some yoga classes, try spinning, and finally sign up for a pure barre class (at another gym) that I have been dying to try. To get started, this month I made up a "plank challenge" that will involve a daily plank that gets longer each day... still working on the details. It has been months since I did much ab work, so I'm already dying 2 days in... whee!

Watch less bad TV and more decent shows and movies
I often spend hours watching mindless, terrible tv and reruns of shows that I've seen a billion times, while there are a ton of great new shows I've been wanting to watch, and my Netflix queue spilleth over. I am vowing to no longer get sucked into a housewives marathon or a Family Guy episode that I could quote by heart... but let's be real, at 9:00 every Tuesday night, you'll still find me soaking up every awful moment of Dance Moms. Otherwise, though, I'm going to get started/caught up on these:

Cultivate my sense of adventure in the kitchen
I am very out of the box and brave when it comes to baking and desserts, but our dinner rotation (as my poor husband can attest) has stagnated somewhere between "breakfast for dinner!" and "some sort of baked chicken again?" I am hoping to discover some new recipes in the coming year that we both enjoy, and I'm also pledging not to be deterred by scary words like "poach," "chiffonade," and "add mayonnaise" (I kid you not, just typing that word made me shudder. That's probably one thing that won't change in my kitchen this year... if it can't be made with greek yogurt or sour cream instead, it probably won't be made at all.)

Take more pictures for the ol' blog
'Nuf said.

Lofty resolutions:

Reset my inner clock
Remember how last year I resolved to stop running late? Well, it's a year later and here I am finally getting around to it. While there were a few moments of glory in 2012, this was generally a big fail. So we try, try again...

Communicate better
I also resolved last year to get better at staying in touch with friends. I am extending this one as well, because in 2012 I: 1. didn't do well and blamed it on wedding craziness, and 2. did much better as a direct result of the wedding (staying in closer touch with friends becomes sort of essential when they're in your upcoming wedding party and you're trying to find shoes for them to wear). So this year I'm re-resolving, free of any wedding-related influences. 

Declutter
This is the massive umbrella resolution under which most of my life-changing aspirations fall this year. I want to declutter everything: my house, my desk, my work, my brain, my life. I want to simplify and organize and streamline and cut out the people and things that are weighing me down. I want to sweep out my head and get rid of the things that constantly plague me but are never going to change. I want to be more efficient and get things done faster. I want to stop wasting my time and energy on things that aren't making me a better person (I guess some of that's not exactly decluttering, but go with it). I am determined to come out a much lighter, calmer, happier person on the other side of this year.

Ready, set...

   Love,

    Meg

The Backwards Taper (Also: Why Blogger and I Are Not Speaking)

Ed: This post was written, published, and subsequently eaten by Blogger on Friday between the hours of 4 and 7. Thankfully, the text was still living in the depths of my computer at work, so I'm trying this again. Sorry for the delay!

Tomorrow morning I will be up before the sunrise, grumbling as I rifle through my closet, searching for a pair of socks that actually match, sleepily pulling on layers to prepare for both frigid and sweaty (possibly at the same time), and hopefully stumbling out the door just in time to make it to the starting line. The fact that the sun is scheduled to come up at the exact same minute the gun goes off is less than thrilling. The fact that it is supposed to be 45° at that minute is downright depressing. My only consolation right now is that it is only a 10k, so barring any catastrophe, by 8:30 I'll be snuggled back up in my sweats and my biggest concern will be french toast vs. hash browns for breakfast (these are important decisions, people).

Even though this is a short race and I am fairly confident that I could make it 6.2 miles even in pretty awful conditions (Dear Racing Gods: That was not an invitation for rain, wind, or snow. Thanks for understanding.), I can't help but feel like I've done everything exactly wrong when training for this race. I have, however, discovered a foolproof way to avoid the "taper crazies" going into a race: get them out of the way early.

Last week, I struggled through several long days of no running (and all the mental anguish that comes with that) as I waited patiently begrudgingly for my shins to get their act together. I felt sluggish and guilty for most of the week, uttered a few choice words every time I walked down a flight of stairs and felt the pain in my legs reappear, and lay awake each night positive that the unanticipated break would ruin any chance at a decent race tomorrow. No amount of cross training lifted my spirits. I was cranky, stressed, and overly tired. All the horrible parts of a taper.... but no race to make it all worthwhile. Yuck.

By last Saturday, I was so determined to get in a few miles that I think I would have gotten out there even if my legs had been literally on fire. Thankfully, the pain was much better (though still not gone), and I declared myself officially cured. Looking back, I'm not convinced that I was completely healed (or that I am even now), but I wasn't having to stop every half mile to rub my shins and try not to cry, so I was happy. The plan for this week was short but consistent mileage to build my speed back up. Saturday and Sunday I forced myself to slow down, but the rest of the week I've been pushing the pace and fighting the voice in my head that continues to insist that I am exhausted. Which I am. But when you waste your taper two weeks before the race, you don't really have time to be exhausted.

I did give myself today off, so hopefully my legs will be at least a little rested by the time I hit that starting line tomorrow morning. I have a feeling that a lot of the other runners in this particular race are going to be serious and fast, so I'm hoping that their speed will push me a bit... although not too much because I'd rather not die halfway through. I do a lot of training runs around this distance but have never raced a 10k before, so I'm not totally sure what to expect and how to plan on pacing. Negative splitting is always a nice goal, but I'm not typically very good at that. If all else fails, I just want to be able to look back (over french toast... or hash browns?) and know that I ran the best race I could, despite pain and exhaustion and weird training schedules. Who knows? Maybe I'll surprise myself and have a great race... in which case you'll find me in line at the patent office on Monday, trademarking the backwards taper training method. 

   Love,

    Meg

Keep Running

Ed: I apologize for the date confusion here -- I fell asleep in the final stages of this post last night and just didn't have the patience to change all the time references this morning.

For several months now, Wednesday nights have meant medium length runs (anywhere from 6-9 miles) around my local university campus. I am so used to doing long runs on this course that knowing I'm only out for half that distance is comforting and feels almost easy. Some weeks are harder than others (especially in August when it was about a billion degrees and at least 116% humidity at 5:30), and recently between working late and earlier sunsets I've struggled to get out before dark (which forces a significantly slower pace), and yet this is consistently my favorite run of the week. Something about the neighborhoods I pass through at sunset, the balance of busy streets and calmer paths, the increasingly cooler breeze and the familiarity of my steps puts me at ease.

From the very beginning last night, though, this seemed like the run-that-wasn't-meant-to-be. 

I ended up working later than I expected, trying to get several projects wrapped up just so that they wouldn't still be sitting on my desk this morning. I figured if I left around 6, I'd be able to get through most of my run while the sun was still up, so right around that time my eyes glazed over and I shut down my computer and headed to change clothes. In my rush to get out of the house on time yesterday morning, I had just thrown all of my running stuff into a bag... everything except socks. Strike 1.

So half an hour later, after a quick detour by home to pick up socks, I made it to my normal parking spot. As soon as got started, though, the shin pain that had begun as barely a whisper that morning progressed to a shrill howl in seconds flat. I had noticed that my legs were a bit tight after a short run two nights ago, but these days, something is always tight, so I sort of brushed it off. When I started to run, though, the pain hit quickly and each step started to feel like a knife blade slicing through my lower leg. I tried slowing down and even walking a few times, but this only made things worse, so I bit my lower lip to keep from yelping and just tried to outrun the pain. Strike 2.

Almost a mile into the run, I glanced down at my Garmin.... and saw nothing but zeros staring back at me. I had forgotten to start the timer, and so I had no record of my time or pace. Lovely. Strike 3.

Since I got started much later than I wanted to, I was barely two miles in before the sun went down and I was left in varying degrees of darkness. Some of my route is charmingly lit by street lamps, trees with christmas lights, and storefronts, but other sidewalks are left treacherously shadowy. I've never felt unsafe in these areas, even after dark, but I know that it's only a matter of time before I trip on an unseen acorn and land on my head. Strike 4.

By mile 3-ish, my leg pain had settled to a dull roar, still frustrating but tolerable. My stomach, however, had other ideas. I have a tough time keeping that part of my body happy on the best of days, and my new running addiction certainly has not helped matters. A combination of stress, heat, and the (decent) food that I had eaten during the day started to slosh around and leave me wondering how many people I would offend if I tossed my cookies (to put it politely) on the side of the road somewhere. I was too scared to stop running, though, because I didn't want my shins to tighten up again -- if I was going to get sick, it was going to be at a sub-9:00 pace. Thankfully it never came to that, but I did struggle through the next several miles battling waves of nausea. Strike 5.

Towards the end of my regular route, I hit an intersection. Left goes towards the car, right allows me to polish off a little bit more mileage before turning around and heading back. Recently, as much as I've wanted to turn right and get that extra time in, my legs have overruled my brain and taken a sharp left. As I approached the intersection last night, I knew that today of all days, I should give in and wrap it up before anything got worse. Before I knew it though, some sort of inspiration/craziness (call it what you will) had kicked in, and I found myself headed right. I made it through almost another mile before giving in and setting course for my favorite finish line, and I was so glad that I did: that last stretch was by far the best part of my run and truly redeemed the whole night.

[via]

 So there you have it, real live proof that no matter how much the first 6 miles make you want to flop down in the middle of the sidewalk and cry, the last one can make it all worth it. Sometimes it just takes a few awful, miserable runs to appreciate an great one. And this (plus those stubborn five pounds) is why I keep running. I am motivated to get through the tough miles because I believe that there are easier ones ahead. Sometimes it takes longer to get to them, but I always know they are coming... around the corner, down the next block, somewhere up ahead, it will get better, it will come naturally, it will feel right. So I keep running...

  Love,

    Meg

Runner's Brain

In exactly one week, with any luck, I will be sitting on my couch, tired feet propped up, iced coffee in hand (or perhaps even something a bit stronger), and a shiny finisher's medal around my neck. Yep, the race that has been so many months away for, well, months... is now next weekend. Can you feel the nerves radiating from this blog? Because I'm not so sure those rumblings last week weren't just the crazy palpitations of my heart, beating straight through my feet and shaking things up from Toronto to North Carolina. 
To be totally honest, I'm not sure why I'm so nervous. I've made it through two 13.5 mile runs in the past two months, and neither time was the urge to lie down and die on the side of the road so large that I couldn't talk myself through it. I've powered through huge hills and oppressive heat, sore muscles and interval workouts, mental walls and legs that feel like concrete slabs. I've experienced technical problems, animal encounters, and one slightly embarrassing tumble. All in all, I've run hundreds of miles in preparation for these 13.1.
But despite all that, I know that when I get to that starting line next week at the crack of dawn, I'm going to be terrified. My stomach will be doing unhappy little flips, and my mind is likely to come up with a million reasons that I'm crazy to even consider this. I'm not a runner, I'm a girl who started running to combat stress, worry, and the occasional cupcake. I stuck with it for the sense of accomplishment, calm, and the slightly diminished guilt about all the frozen yogurt. I'm a girl who knows very little about running, but kind of enjoys it... most days. I'm not really a runner. 
But the other people who will be running in a week? They are runners. Who probably followed training plans written by people other than themselves. Who have probably been running consistently for more than 6 months. Who probably move a little faster than my preferred "slow and steady" pace, while not looking like they're about to melt into a large puddle of sweat. Who are motivated by more than just a large bowl of pasta.
All I can hope is that these runners will inspire me, welcome me, and maybe even push me a little. I can hope that my nerves will give me a jump-start. I can hope that the memories of all my training runs, both the good and the bad, will carry me through the tough miles with confidence. I can hope that the adrenaline of thousands of runners, hundreds of onlookers, and awesome volunteers will help me forget how long 13.1 miles can really feel. And if nothing else, I can hope that the iced coffee waiting for me just past the finish line will be enough to get me there in one piece. Because my one and only goal for this little adventure? To cross the finish line. Alive. And smiling.

   Love,

    Meg

Making Frenemies at the Gym

The weather here was forecasted to be in the 50's and sunny this past Sunday and Monday -- a dream come true after several weeks of 30's and rainy. I was so excited to finally get a chance to run outside, and the weather on Sunday did turn out to be perfect, but what with being lazy all morning and having to consume so many chicken-dip laden chips that evening, I just didn't have time to fit in anything resembling physical activity. Bummer, right? I promised myself I'd get out right after work on Monday, though, so somehow I managed to live with my sedentary self.
By 5:00 Monday, however, the temperature had again dropped and I knew that an outdoor run would be pretty miserable (that's right, I'm a wimp). After the food-fest that was Sunday night, I knew I had to do something, so I headed down to my favorite treadmill... womp womp. Four miles later, I felt a little bit better about things, even though I was still pretty sad that I missed a great day to run outside. I am beyond sick of the inside of our gym, as convenient and temperature-controlled as it may be. I hoped that after this, at least, my guilt over the curious absence of workouts from last week's calendar would be lifted for at least a day.
Imagine my surprise, then, when I got home around 8 last night and discovered that I actually kind of wanted to go back to they gym. I have no idea what kind of circuits in my brain were misfiring to cause this highly out-of-character urge, but luckily I knew enough not to question it. I threw on shorts, laced up my shoes, and headed down there just to see what might happen. I've been having some knee pain when I run that gets a lot worse if I don't give myself time to recover from each run, so I knew I wouldn't want to get right back on the treadmill. Instead, I hopped onto a machine that I've never used before but that has always seemed very popular. Apparently it's called an "Arc Trainer," but I was pretty sure it was basically a glorified elliptical, the machine that used to be my best gym friend back when I was scared of treadmills (remember? I'm a wimp!). I wasn't exactly concerned about my ability to function on this thing, so I set it for 40 minutes on level 5 (out of 9) of the "cardio" program. It started off easily enough with an "intensity" of 10 and then 15 -- it took a little while to get used to the pattern of movement, but being a seasoned elliptical user I caught on without too much trouble and was just feeling proud of myself for conquering a new machine when the intensity suddenly rocketed from 15 to 50.... and I almost fell off.

After a few minutes of moving along at a nice, easy clip, all of a sudden I was slogging through quicksand, struggling to keep my head above water. For the first time, I questioned whether I really should have followed those directions and consulted my physician before engaging in such strenuous activity. Luckily I was the only one working out at the time, so I didn't have to embarrass myself in front of any judgmental neighbors (although the thought did cross my mind that if I died, I might have had to wait a while for medical assistance).

Now I don't fool myself (or anybody else) by claiming to be superathletic. I'm struggling hard to find a place where running is easy and fun, and while some days I win that fight, more often than not I lose miserably and have to bribe myself with chocolate or wine (or both) to get through a workout. That being said, if I can make 4 miles on a treadmill, 4 minutes on an "Arc Trainer" really shouldn't kick my butt, but it totally did. It was incredibly tough, but I stuck with it for the whole 40 minutes, waiting the whole time for my heart to spontaneously burst from my chest and flop onto the floor, panting and clutching itself. 10 minutes in I was sweating from pores that I didn't even know existed, and by the end I was drenched and more exhausted than I've been in months. It was by far one of the hardest workouts I've completed, and even though I kind of wanted to die, I was so proud of myself for finishing and found myself already planning to incorporate this machine into my workout schedule. Am I crazy? Probably. Hopefully it will get easier if I continue to use it, but this looks suspiciously like the beginning of a love-hate relationship...

   

   Love,

    Meg

Ringing in the New Year: Nostalgia and Aspirations

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

~ Ellen Goodman

It completely stuns me that 2010 is already over -- the year flew by incredibly fast. It certainly had its share of ups and downs (with a few weird knock-you-upside-down loops thrown in for good measure), but I think it's actually fair to say it has been the best yet. I don't typically make new year's resolutions -- I'd rather grumble to myself when my favorite treadmill is always taken in January and chuckle when, come February, I'm back to being the only one at the gym. But this year I did want to document some of the best parts of 2010 and make a few.... well, let's call them loose goals for the year ahead.

10 Best Moments of 2010:

10. the final advisory meeting for my psych research project: This spring, to finish up the credits for my psychology minor, I completed an independent research project for which I read upwards of 40 articles and wrote a paper. Not exactly a thesis, but still a whole lot of work. By accident, I ended up with a topic that I was able to study from both a psychological and a legal perspective, perfectly combining the minor with my government major for some incredibly intriguing reading. I was also lucky enough to have a faculty advisor who supported this dual approach to the subject and allowed me a lot of freedom, which was exciting but also a little scary -- I had no idea what she would think of the (very long) end result. The paper took me months to research, write and edit, but in the end those late nights payed off: my advisor loved it and said that she actually learned from my work!
9. starting this blog: Even though it's still very much an infant and has a grand total of 0 people reading (except maybe Dan, when he remembers), getting this little blog off the ground was a major step. I've been reading blogs for years and wanting to start my own for almost as long, so I may have had a little private celebration after finally hitting the "publish" button on my first post. It's a little scary to be putting myself out there for anyone (or, as the case may be, no one) to see, but I'm also loving the chance to write about my life!
8. finishing my first 5k: After several months of hibernation last winter, during which I darkened the doorway of the gym maybe twice, the warmth of spring enticed me to start running again. It was pretty rough in the beginning, but with a persistence fairly uncharacteristic of me, I stuck with it. After a month or so, each run was a little bit easier... so I signed up for a 5k in my college town, telling myself that even if I had to walk most of it, I'd at least feel accomplished for getting up that early on a Saturday. I was extremely anxious and wanted to stop running soooo many times over that 3.14 miles, but I made it to the finish line in just under 30 minutes. It was an awesome feeling, and even though at the time I celebrated by promptly going back to bed, I've channeled the exciting energy quite a few times since then when I'm struggling to make it through that last mile.
7. family dinner before graduation: Since my parents divorced when I was in middle school, they have been (luckily) civil and polite but rarely spend more than a few moments in the same room. I was a little nervous about spending the entire graduation weekend with my mom, my dad, and my stepmom -- as much as I love each one of them, Dan and I prepared ourselves for a whole lot of awkward. It was really important to me, however, that I get one dinner with everyone together, so the night before graduation we all piled into one car (oooh the uncomfortable silences) and headed to a fantastic restaurant. Thankfully, with a glass of wine in hand and a plate of scallops in front of me, the night turned out to be fun and drama-free. The conversation was remarkably easy and we all laughed a lot and genuinely enjoyed our evening. I am so lucky to have parents who, even if they aren't still married, were willing to ignore their history and make the night really special.
6. bringing Toby home: I never thought I'd be a cat person -- I was always more comfortable around dogs and tended to that think most cats were an amalgam of teeth and claws better left alone. Although Dan and I are pretty sure that Toby IS actually part dog (he follows us around and cuddles like only a puppy can), he gets cuter each and every day and is rapidly gaining ground toward changing my mind in this matter. In only a month, the little furball has snuggled his way into our hearts.... now if only he'd stop circling and lie down already!
5. picking up the keys to our first apartment: Simply put: I was finally moving out of my mother's house. For good. And moving in with the best roomie ever: Dan. I'm pretty sure I frightened the office manager with my giddy smile.
4. finding two new best friends: I've had a lot of good friends in my life, but I never had a best friend -- a together-since-childhood, knows-all-my-secrets, her-family-is-my-second-family type friend. Instead, I had several good friendships which all lasted a few years and then slowly and naturally grew apart. College was no exception, and I drifted between groups for my first few years, until I pledged the co-ed social/honors fraternity and discovered the best "greek" experience possible, my own place on campus, and two of the most amazing best friends I could ever ask for. Even though I had actually met M my freshman year, we were reunited in the same pledge class and became quick friends. During the fall of my senior year, I met A as a pledge and knew immediately that I wanted her as a little. She and I are almost frighteningly similar and I'm pretty sure that we may share a brain. Even though I met these two ladies late in my college years, they were by far the best part of my college experience. They are truly the best friends I've ever had -- supportive, fun and down-to-earth girls who always get me and never let me down. The three of us had so much fun and made so many memories my senior year, and I am sad that I don't get to see them every day now. 
3. starting my new job: I spent a great deal of time and energy last spring worrying about what I was going to do with my life for the next few years. I knew I wanted to go to law school, but I also knew that I needed to take a year or two off to get some experience, regroup, and store up a good reserve of sleep before I embarked upon 3 years of hell. I knew that waiting tables for two years wouldn't exactly sparkle on my applications, but after applying for job after job.... after job.... after job and never getting so much as a courtesy rejection call, I started to get a little bit frustrated. Dads seem to have a talent for recognizing when their daughters need help, though, and when mine told me there was a job opening at his bank, I was desperate enough to know that I couldn't turn it down because it wasn't exactly my area of interest. I thank my lucky stars that I was mature enough to suck up my doubts, put on my heels, and show up the next day to meet with human resources. I never could have guessed how much I'd love this job, the people I work with, and... well... the paychecks aren't so bad either. It's not permanent, but being able to lie down at night and sleep instead of worrying about the next year or two is all I can ask for now.
2. graduating from college: It is still, more than 7 months later, unreal to me that I have a college degree. I worked my butt off for 4 whole years for that little piece of paper (written in Latin, no less -- just like my grandfather's), and I am incredibly proud of it. Walking up the steps of one of the oldest buildings in our country's history to accept my diploma was one of the most incredible things I've ever experienced.
1. engagement: The story of my engagement -- a fantastic but very lengthy tale -- is a story for another post, but suffice it to say that this was absolutely the best moment of my year -- if not my life. I am so lucky to be engaged to marry my best friend, my high school sweetheart, and my hero. I can't wait to get married!!!

11 Goals for 2011:

1. finish unpacking & decorating our apartment: Yes, there may still be a few lingering boxes. Yes, I feel pretty bad about that since we moved in almost 3 months ago. Yes, starting a full time job is totally an excuse, or at least it's the one I'm using. Yes, this needs to get done. Pronto.
2. learn lots of yummy new recipes and cook more often: While I am a damn good baker, if I may say so myself, my basic cooking skills leave a little a lot to be desired. There are a very few dishes that I make pretty well, but beyond these staples my time in the kitchen is typically a long series of errors with barely edible results. Ironically, though, I LOVE cooking (although I'd always rather be baking), so my goal this year is to try lots of new things, expand my repertoire, and not burn down the apartment in the process.
3. save money: It's true, I love to shop. Clothes, shoes, books, anything found at Target (well, maybe not anything)... I'm a sucker for a good sale. This year, though, I have to keep in mind that there are much better things worth saving for (yes, even better than another pair of heels): a wedding, a honeymoon, even a house sometime in the future. Not a bad trade-off for limiting the number of Starbucks trips every week.
4. continue running: It's not always fun and there are so many days that I'd much rather hide under the covers and nap with the cat, but I know that I have to keep at it to stay in good shape -- the weight won't lose itself. I hope to sign up for (and complete!) a few more races this year to keep me on track (literally).
5. keep up with this blog: So far, updating this little thing every few days has been pretty easy, but I'm always worried that I will run out of things to write about. Maybe this goal should actually be "have an interesting life for the next year."
6. keep it together through Dan leaving and make the deployment as easy as possible for him: This is probably the most challenging goal of the whole list. It's a little bit hard to get excited about this year when I realize that I'll be spending more than half of it alone, while Dan is training and then deployed. It's going to be really tough on both of us, but I know that we are strong enough to make it through just about anything. Hopefully I can hang in there, keep everything at home together, and find time to put together a few fantastic care packages for my love when he's a world away.
7. ace the LSATs and plan for the future: #1 project during the deployment. 'Nuf said.
8. watch more movies: #2 project during the deployment. Not very ambitious, but let's face it, I resolve to do this every year. My netflix queue is about 16 miles long, and I'm thinking lots of lonely nights curled up with the kitty and a good glass of wine will fix that little issue.
9. spend lots of time with friends: It's hard to be several cities away from most of my friends, but especially with Dan gone I know that they are going to be an amazing, essential support network for me. So many have already told me that I can come visit anytime, and I know that this year I have to force myself to be social when I'm feeling down and make a huge effort to spend lots of time with people I love.
10. get more sleep: Fairly self-explanatory. I usually get by on 4-5 hours a night and try to make up for it on the weekends, which makes getting me up early a hard job for even the jaws of life. I'm pretty sure I'd be a much happier person on 6-7 hours a night. Which leads me to my final goal for 2011....
11. BE HAPPY: Even when life is not perfect. Even when things go wrong. Even when work sucks. Even when things break. Even when my fiance is far away and I am alone. Even when I want to hide from everyone in the world, even the cat. Even when I don't think that it will get better. Making myself happy is a skill that I'm going to have to perfect over the next year, like or it not. I'm looking forward to getting damn good at it, and having an amazing year, no matter what life brings!

   Love,

    Meg