Back to School

My Coursera class started this week, so like a dutiful student who is a little nervous that she is about two and a half years too rusty for this, I packed up my laptop and headed to Panera after the gym last night. I felt just a dash of that same excitement that always came with the first days of the semester: intriguing syllabi, fresh new textbooks, and sweet old professors... and the first and only day of class that you could show up with absolutely no preparation. There are always a few days that feel oh so promising, before all that reading and writing and sleep-deprivation hit.
I have no idea what to expect from this course in terms of difficulty level or how long I'll need to study. Each week consists of an optional reading assignment, a series of video lectures, and a quiz, so I don't anticipate it being too overwhelming, but I'm taking tons of notes and trying to over-study this week just in case. It was wonderfully familiar to sit down with a big cup of coffee, my laptop, and my notebook, and I kind of enjoyed feeling like a student again. So far the lectures are interesting and straightforward, and the professor is great in that slightly nerdy, brilliant, and super passionate about his work way. I have to say, I really love the online thing: the fact that I can fit the lectures in whenever it works for me each week -- and I can do it all in my pajamas, no less -- is appealing at this point in my life. It's also not a bad excuse to spend more time at Panera.
As I looked around last night, though, I started to wonder about the high school and college kids studying around me. Do I look young enough to pass as an undergrad still? Did they assume I was just one of them, getting started on a new semester that would include 16 credit hours, coffee dates with friends, struggling to stay awake through lectures, cramming for exams, taking advantage of a free gym, midnight trips to get food, and parties on the weekends? Would they have guessed that now, just two and a half short years after I enjoyed that life, I'm a 25 year old with a full-time job, a husband, a house to clean, a gym membership that I pay for, and a college degree already? 
As I watched the rest of them a little last night, I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic for my own college years, when my best friends lived next door and my calendar was always too full and all-nighters at the library were common but at least there was always someone else staying up, too. I miss learning new things and interacting with intelligent professors and peers and working hard, but playing hard too. I miss setting my own schedule and swiping in for a meal and belonging to a campus that felt just like home. I felt more than a little out of place, among the college students studying exams and writing papers and lab reports, wondering if they would write me off as that weird old person in class who asked too many questions and didn't keep up to date with music or clothes or technology.
And yet, as I packed up my stuff and drove home to my puppy and my cat and my husband who made me dinner last night, I knew that I wouldn't trade it. I did the college thing, I loved it, and now it's over. I'm doing the young married thing now, and it's not half-bad either. Before too long, I'll be doing the exhausted mom thing, and I'm sure I'll look back at today with fond memories. So for now, I'll take advantage of the fact that I can enjoy a taste of college right here in my own home, with better food and a comfortable bed and my pretty awesome roommates. Best of both worlds?

   Love,

    Meg

Thursday Things

Despite the fact that I skipped my morning workout (for the first time in a whole month!) in favor of a little extra sleep today, my brain is still yawning, stretching, and shuffling its feet a bit. Random, scattered bullet points are as good as it's going to get, boys and girls.
 -- First things first: the magic of fall has officially returned in two of the most amazing, most delicious, most heart-attack inducing bowls you can imagine:

YES, PLEASE.

AND THANK YOU.

I'm telling you, it's the quintessential Thanksgiving dinner, fast-food style. The thing is, though... it's good. I can't say that I've ever had both the turkey bowl and the dessert in the same meal, or even in the same day, but I have a feeling that such close proximity might result in some kind of fireworks. Sadly, I haven't had the opportunity to celebrate the return of either yet, partially because the closest Wawa (where one finds the turkey bowl) is at least an hour away... boo. Unfortunately there is a Dairy Queen not two minutes from our new house, though, so the only thing standing between me and that amazing blizzard is my willpower... ha. What willpower?
 -- Tomorrow night I have to speak to a rather large, rather well-dressed crowd about my dad. Cue the stress headache now, please. I've been trying to write out my thoughts for days now, hunkering down at my desk during lunch to work and then fretting over it for the rest of the afternoon. While I have a lot of ideas, they just weren't meshing well into the short, heartfelt message I wanted to share. So yesterday, I took a hint from my college days: I went straight home from work, made myself some tea, and curled up in bed with a stack of paper and a pen.

The only difference from my college days was the appearance of a snoozing cat at my feet. I didn't mind the addition.

And I wrote... and wrote... and wrote. And cried. And wrote. And once I finally organized my thoughts into a coherent structure and felt comfortable with the flow, I took a celebratory nap.
 -- Speaking of my beloved alma mater, they had a very special visitor yesterday:

Why yes, that is His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet. And yes, he certainly is holding a W&M visor that he wore for his entire hour and a half talk. I watched the live streaming video of his remarks and was so impressed -- he had a truly inspiring message about forgiveness, compassion, and the meaning of religion. I also loved getting to see the professor in the background of this picture -- I took his class on Buddhism my sophomore year and it was one of the best of my four years there.
 -- Yes, now you know where I went to school (if you hadn't figured it out already)... and yes, there are a lot of stereotypes out there. Yes, I am a nerd. Yes, I worked my little butt off. Yes, I still had as much fun as your average college student. No, I wasn't sober for four years straight. Yes, I wish I could go back on a daily basis.
 -- Why do some adults act more like the cast of Mean Girls than reasonable, mature, decent human beings? That's all I will allow myself to say about this...
 -- Tonight: Vice Presidential debate or cleaning my kitchen? It's a toss-up... I have a feeling the dishes might be less painful. Is this damn election over already?
And all at once, my morning coffee is gone and my brain has decided it's time for a nap. I should probably stop while I'm ahead. Takeaway for today? Go treat yourself to a blizzard. You deserve it (and so will I, after I run around the neighborhood a few times this afternoon).

   Love,

    Meg

Aftershocks

Hurray for making it through Wednesday! Now it's just a downhill slide into the weekend... and hopefully a quick one. Right now my life is consumed with lots of little things... nothing quite as huge as the 20 seconds or so of crazy shaking yesterday that scared the daylights out of me while it lasted (I work in the basement of a 5 story building that sounded very much like it was going to come down on top of me). Nope, life has been more like the little rumblings that have followed: fragmented, slightly exciting, but thankfully non-cataclysmic.
 -- I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't looking forward to a weekend without a double-digit run -- as much as I've been loving logging long runs on the weekends, I am cautiously tapering for the race Labor Day weekend. As a beginner, I get the feeling that I'm probably not worthy of a long, leisurely taper, but lately I've been running as many as 40 miles a week and my legs are feeling great, so I'm backing off a little so that they will be fresh. Now if only I was feeling just as great mentally... I'm getting nervous and my stomach has started to do a little flip-flop every time I think about that starting line. Hopefully a weekend of relaxation by the pool, extra sleep, and cuddling with Toby will help me calm down and get my head in the game.
 -- In a continuing effort to eat my favorite pasta sauce for as many meals as humanly possible, I made a pizza tonight with whole wheat crust, spinach, onion, garlic, mushroom, feta, and plenty garlic parmesan goodness. I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, but I was pretty impressed with the results. Next time, though, I think I will try to saute the spinach and garlic a little before adding them to the crust and baking.  The best part, though, is that I have plenty of leftovers for lunches and dinners. Yum!

pre-baking

 -- I'm watching House Hunters International (just a little research for the day that Dan and I can afford to move to Fiji) and this couple is relocating their SIX KIDS from Detroit to Normandy, France. Brave or crazy? I hope they pick the former church convent.
 -- The last several nights, I have been completely wiped by 10:00. Despite all my running, I basically sit all day at work... since when is that exhausting? I have no idea how I made it through 4 years of college, when 1:00 was an early bedtime.
 -- Speaking of college, boy do I miss it these days. Especially with Dan gone, I really miss being just minutes away from all of my friends, awesome places to eat, beautiful streets to run, and lots of places to just hang out outside and enjoy the weather as it turns the corner towards fall. I even mentioned to Dan that I kind of miss the classes -- there are days that I'd much rather sit through an interesting lecture and spend hours reading than go to work. A sign that I'm ready to go back to school? I sure hope so....
Happy almost-Thursday, everyone!

   Love,

    Meg

Spring Has Sprung

Spring in college was a magical time. During the winter, we all seemed to exist in a sort of frozen discontent, but as soon as the weather got warm the whole campus started to smile again. Even all the piles of work seemed a little more enjoyable. Springtime meant...

Pretty flowers all over campus (that's really a picture from campus) 

and fun with statues (Dan and Thomas Jefferson get a little up close and personal)

Wine and yummy sandwiches outside with friends here, the incredible stuffed sno-ball from here, way too many late night treks to Wawa, and wonderful coffee dates on the front porch here

More sunlight and classes coming to an end, which meant less time in the library's Starbucks 

and more time "studying" (ahem) outside with friends

Formals with lots of wonderful people

This spring, however, is going to be a little a lot different. I miss so much about college, but I'm looking forward to this season and experiencing spring out in the "real world," full of...

Adorable skirts (I'm kind of in LOVE with everysingleoneofthese)

Taking advantage of all the sunlight with lots of trail running and some serious spring cleaning

A wedding!

A teeny tiny vacation (think 4 days) with my hubby-to-be. I don't actually know where we're going yet, but I'm hoping it will be warm!

Unfortunately, my spring will end on a sad note, as my sweet first lieutenant and I will have to say goodbye for a while. Luckily, though, this means that I have the next few months to spend with him, and I'm hoping to enjoy every single moment that we can together. As Dan texted me about two months ago:

"I can't wait until the spring time.  I have so many ideas bouncing around in my noggin.  

This is going to be the best spring EVER."

Love that guy!

Happy spring, everyone!

  

   Love,

    Meg

The Morning After

Ah, the Monday after the Super Bowl. It's always so much fun to watch people drag into the office, sleepy but quite clearly displaying varied shades of "morning-after syndrome": either My-life-is-better-than-chocolate-cake-because-my-team-well-they-aren't-really-my-team-but-my-real-team-didn't-even-make-it-to-the-playoffs-so-I-adopted-this-other-team-and-they-won!!! or Please-don't-speak-to-me-and-actually-just-don't-look-at-me-even-just-the-light-in-your-eyes-is-painful-because-my-team-lost-and-I-polished-off-all-the-leftover-alcohol-to-keep-from-crying-in-front-of-the-guys. These coworkers proceed to their desks, where they stare densely at their computer, either jumping at each chance to rehash the glorious game of the century or pounding their head against the filing cabinets whenever it is mentioned. Oh the life of a (borderline-) dedicated football fan, it's never easy.

I am a huge fan of college football and cheer quite candidly for several favorites, including my alma mater and my hometown team (except for that time that they played each other when I was a senior and my typically wimpy little college team soundly trounced the big bad home team... that was a good day). I'm really not sure why, but I just can't get into the NFL. After a full day of football on fall Saturdays, I'm usually feeling a little deprived of fresh air and just can't stomach hanging around the couch another round of games on Sundays. So when the Super Bowl rolls around, I feel a little un-American, but I really don't care who wins. I hate randomly picking a team just for the sake of one evening, so I typically watch the game, chuckle at the commercials, and keep pretty quiet. This year, I spent most of the game in the kitchen, being as brilliant as I am and deciding to start cleaning or cooking around 3. Thankfully Dan helped clean the apartment, and I am so thrilled to start the week with a clean living space so that I don't have to feel guilty every night after work for not doing anything at all. 

Dan's brother and his girlfriend got there right as the game started -- about the time I popped the wings in the oven -- and luckily they weren't starving so I took my time and finally served everything during the 2nd quarter. We (as in Dan) opted for a plethora of appetizers, so our meal consisted of: crackers with fantastic cheese and sausage (our Christmas gift from my best friend), stuffed mushrooms, the incredible buffalo chicken dip from this blog that I love, homemade wings (that came out pretty well and got lots of compliments), ranch dip, baguette brushed with olive oil, and a yummy dessert dip with cookies and pretzels and a sugar coma on the side. I ate way more than I should have and even enjoyed the second half of the game before tackling my mess of a kitchen. I was so busy that I forgot to take any pictures of the food, but I'm pretty excited to have lots of leftovers for lunches this week!

The rest of the weekend was fun as well -- Dan got home late Friday evening so instead of going out, we enjoyed a nice quiet night at home. Saturday we spend most of the day at another wrestling tournament with Dan's brother and got to watch him win his district match. On to regionals next weekend! We made up for our date night Saturday evening and went to Outback with his whole family so that I could silence my craving for a bloomin' onion. I also had one two of the best margaritas I've ever tasted that night. All around I'd say it was a great weekend for my stomach (although we'll see if I still think that after my run this afternoon...)

So here we are, back to Monday, everyone shuffling around in a fog of last night's beer and tortilla chips. I'm so happy that this week should be an easy one and that we have a little mini-vacation coming up this weekend!

Hope that you all survived the weekend -- and the big game -- unscathed!

   Love,

    Meg

Ringing in the New Year: Nostalgia and Aspirations

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.

~ Ellen Goodman

It completely stuns me that 2010 is already over -- the year flew by incredibly fast. It certainly had its share of ups and downs (with a few weird knock-you-upside-down loops thrown in for good measure), but I think it's actually fair to say it has been the best yet. I don't typically make new year's resolutions -- I'd rather grumble to myself when my favorite treadmill is always taken in January and chuckle when, come February, I'm back to being the only one at the gym. But this year I did want to document some of the best parts of 2010 and make a few.... well, let's call them loose goals for the year ahead.

10 Best Moments of 2010:

10. the final advisory meeting for my psych research project: This spring, to finish up the credits for my psychology minor, I completed an independent research project for which I read upwards of 40 articles and wrote a paper. Not exactly a thesis, but still a whole lot of work. By accident, I ended up with a topic that I was able to study from both a psychological and a legal perspective, perfectly combining the minor with my government major for some incredibly intriguing reading. I was also lucky enough to have a faculty advisor who supported this dual approach to the subject and allowed me a lot of freedom, which was exciting but also a little scary -- I had no idea what she would think of the (very long) end result. The paper took me months to research, write and edit, but in the end those late nights payed off: my advisor loved it and said that she actually learned from my work!
9. starting this blog: Even though it's still very much an infant and has a grand total of 0 people reading (except maybe Dan, when he remembers), getting this little blog off the ground was a major step. I've been reading blogs for years and wanting to start my own for almost as long, so I may have had a little private celebration after finally hitting the "publish" button on my first post. It's a little scary to be putting myself out there for anyone (or, as the case may be, no one) to see, but I'm also loving the chance to write about my life!
8. finishing my first 5k: After several months of hibernation last winter, during which I darkened the doorway of the gym maybe twice, the warmth of spring enticed me to start running again. It was pretty rough in the beginning, but with a persistence fairly uncharacteristic of me, I stuck with it. After a month or so, each run was a little bit easier... so I signed up for a 5k in my college town, telling myself that even if I had to walk most of it, I'd at least feel accomplished for getting up that early on a Saturday. I was extremely anxious and wanted to stop running soooo many times over that 3.14 miles, but I made it to the finish line in just under 30 minutes. It was an awesome feeling, and even though at the time I celebrated by promptly going back to bed, I've channeled the exciting energy quite a few times since then when I'm struggling to make it through that last mile.
7. family dinner before graduation: Since my parents divorced when I was in middle school, they have been (luckily) civil and polite but rarely spend more than a few moments in the same room. I was a little nervous about spending the entire graduation weekend with my mom, my dad, and my stepmom -- as much as I love each one of them, Dan and I prepared ourselves for a whole lot of awkward. It was really important to me, however, that I get one dinner with everyone together, so the night before graduation we all piled into one car (oooh the uncomfortable silences) and headed to a fantastic restaurant. Thankfully, with a glass of wine in hand and a plate of scallops in front of me, the night turned out to be fun and drama-free. The conversation was remarkably easy and we all laughed a lot and genuinely enjoyed our evening. I am so lucky to have parents who, even if they aren't still married, were willing to ignore their history and make the night really special.
6. bringing Toby home: I never thought I'd be a cat person -- I was always more comfortable around dogs and tended to that think most cats were an amalgam of teeth and claws better left alone. Although Dan and I are pretty sure that Toby IS actually part dog (he follows us around and cuddles like only a puppy can), he gets cuter each and every day and is rapidly gaining ground toward changing my mind in this matter. In only a month, the little furball has snuggled his way into our hearts.... now if only he'd stop circling and lie down already!
5. picking up the keys to our first apartment: Simply put: I was finally moving out of my mother's house. For good. And moving in with the best roomie ever: Dan. I'm pretty sure I frightened the office manager with my giddy smile.
4. finding two new best friends: I've had a lot of good friends in my life, but I never had a best friend -- a together-since-childhood, knows-all-my-secrets, her-family-is-my-second-family type friend. Instead, I had several good friendships which all lasted a few years and then slowly and naturally grew apart. College was no exception, and I drifted between groups for my first few years, until I pledged the co-ed social/honors fraternity and discovered the best "greek" experience possible, my own place on campus, and two of the most amazing best friends I could ever ask for. Even though I had actually met M my freshman year, we were reunited in the same pledge class and became quick friends. During the fall of my senior year, I met A as a pledge and knew immediately that I wanted her as a little. She and I are almost frighteningly similar and I'm pretty sure that we may share a brain. Even though I met these two ladies late in my college years, they were by far the best part of my college experience. They are truly the best friends I've ever had -- supportive, fun and down-to-earth girls who always get me and never let me down. The three of us had so much fun and made so many memories my senior year, and I am sad that I don't get to see them every day now. 
3. starting my new job: I spent a great deal of time and energy last spring worrying about what I was going to do with my life for the next few years. I knew I wanted to go to law school, but I also knew that I needed to take a year or two off to get some experience, regroup, and store up a good reserve of sleep before I embarked upon 3 years of hell. I knew that waiting tables for two years wouldn't exactly sparkle on my applications, but after applying for job after job.... after job.... after job and never getting so much as a courtesy rejection call, I started to get a little bit frustrated. Dads seem to have a talent for recognizing when their daughters need help, though, and when mine told me there was a job opening at his bank, I was desperate enough to know that I couldn't turn it down because it wasn't exactly my area of interest. I thank my lucky stars that I was mature enough to suck up my doubts, put on my heels, and show up the next day to meet with human resources. I never could have guessed how much I'd love this job, the people I work with, and... well... the paychecks aren't so bad either. It's not permanent, but being able to lie down at night and sleep instead of worrying about the next year or two is all I can ask for now.
2. graduating from college: It is still, more than 7 months later, unreal to me that I have a college degree. I worked my butt off for 4 whole years for that little piece of paper (written in Latin, no less -- just like my grandfather's), and I am incredibly proud of it. Walking up the steps of one of the oldest buildings in our country's history to accept my diploma was one of the most incredible things I've ever experienced.
1. engagement: The story of my engagement -- a fantastic but very lengthy tale -- is a story for another post, but suffice it to say that this was absolutely the best moment of my year -- if not my life. I am so lucky to be engaged to marry my best friend, my high school sweetheart, and my hero. I can't wait to get married!!!

11 Goals for 2011:

1. finish unpacking & decorating our apartment: Yes, there may still be a few lingering boxes. Yes, I feel pretty bad about that since we moved in almost 3 months ago. Yes, starting a full time job is totally an excuse, or at least it's the one I'm using. Yes, this needs to get done. Pronto.
2. learn lots of yummy new recipes and cook more often: While I am a damn good baker, if I may say so myself, my basic cooking skills leave a little a lot to be desired. There are a very few dishes that I make pretty well, but beyond these staples my time in the kitchen is typically a long series of errors with barely edible results. Ironically, though, I LOVE cooking (although I'd always rather be baking), so my goal this year is to try lots of new things, expand my repertoire, and not burn down the apartment in the process.
3. save money: It's true, I love to shop. Clothes, shoes, books, anything found at Target (well, maybe not anything)... I'm a sucker for a good sale. This year, though, I have to keep in mind that there are much better things worth saving for (yes, even better than another pair of heels): a wedding, a honeymoon, even a house sometime in the future. Not a bad trade-off for limiting the number of Starbucks trips every week.
4. continue running: It's not always fun and there are so many days that I'd much rather hide under the covers and nap with the cat, but I know that I have to keep at it to stay in good shape -- the weight won't lose itself. I hope to sign up for (and complete!) a few more races this year to keep me on track (literally).
5. keep up with this blog: So far, updating this little thing every few days has been pretty easy, but I'm always worried that I will run out of things to write about. Maybe this goal should actually be "have an interesting life for the next year."
6. keep it together through Dan leaving and make the deployment as easy as possible for him: This is probably the most challenging goal of the whole list. It's a little bit hard to get excited about this year when I realize that I'll be spending more than half of it alone, while Dan is training and then deployed. It's going to be really tough on both of us, but I know that we are strong enough to make it through just about anything. Hopefully I can hang in there, keep everything at home together, and find time to put together a few fantastic care packages for my love when he's a world away.
7. ace the LSATs and plan for the future: #1 project during the deployment. 'Nuf said.
8. watch more movies: #2 project during the deployment. Not very ambitious, but let's face it, I resolve to do this every year. My netflix queue is about 16 miles long, and I'm thinking lots of lonely nights curled up with the kitty and a good glass of wine will fix that little issue.
9. spend lots of time with friends: It's hard to be several cities away from most of my friends, but especially with Dan gone I know that they are going to be an amazing, essential support network for me. So many have already told me that I can come visit anytime, and I know that this year I have to force myself to be social when I'm feeling down and make a huge effort to spend lots of time with people I love.
10. get more sleep: Fairly self-explanatory. I usually get by on 4-5 hours a night and try to make up for it on the weekends, which makes getting me up early a hard job for even the jaws of life. I'm pretty sure I'd be a much happier person on 6-7 hours a night. Which leads me to my final goal for 2011....
11. BE HAPPY: Even when life is not perfect. Even when things go wrong. Even when work sucks. Even when things break. Even when my fiance is far away and I am alone. Even when I want to hide from everyone in the world, even the cat. Even when I don't think that it will get better. Making myself happy is a skill that I'm going to have to perfect over the next year, like or it not. I'm looking forward to getting damn good at it, and having an amazing year, no matter what life brings!

   Love,

    Meg