June 17, 2011

Friday Favorites

My favorite thing about today is not that it's Friday (shocker, I know). It's not that it has finally cooled off outside and actually looked like it might rain on my drive to work this morning (everyone needs a rainy day sometimes, and I think I'm overdue). It's not that my running is going well (even though it is), or that I have a clean bedroom (even though I do), or even that the little brigade of ants who welcomed me home from work on Wednesday has been completely taken care of (even though it has, thank goodness). Nope, my favorite thing about today is that this morning, while looking back at the last several weeks, I realized that actually, if I'm honest, it hasn't been that bad.
This past month (-ish) had all the potential to be incredibly, incredibly bad. Not just trip-you-when-you're-not-looking bad, but shove-you-back-down-every-time-you-try-to-get-up bad. Between having to say goodbye to my sweet husband, his brother's serious injury, and all kinds of speed bumps in between, it would have been easy to just sink into the fog of bad luck and misfortune. There were so many times I was tempted to crawl into bed, skip a run, cancel plans with a friend, and wade around a little in my misery (and maybe a bottle of wine). I've gotten lonely, scared, upset, anxious, and frustrated. I've wanted to call it quits, do whatever it took to get Dan out of his contract, and move to a different city state country. Sometimes running away has truly looked like the best option. In short, this month could have sucked me in, chewed me up, and spit me out a much more jaded human being.
In spite of everything, though, and mostly without a whole lot of conscious thought, I've figured out a way to navigate this minefield. I've kept myself running (literally and figuratively) on a steady diet of contact with good friends and family, iced coffee, skype dates with my hubby, and the determination to stay strong for others who needed me, with a little pinch of denial thrown in for good measure. It hasn't always worked, and there were certainly times when I got overwhelmed by everything that's happened, but for the most part, I feel like I've made it through intact. Bumped around and bruised a little, but still smiling.
Instead of looking back on the past several weeks and remembering the bad parts: the goodbyes, the scary phone calls, the hours upon hours of driving, the long sleepless nights in a bed much too large for one body, I am able to recall the happier memories. The tipsy but wonderful vineyard tour with Dan and our best friends. The phone calls and emails from friends and family to check in on me and let me know they are thinking about me. The night after Dan left, when my best friend and I stayed up talking until almost 3 AM. The runs that felt amazing and proved to be incredible stress-relievers. The dinners with my wonderful and (mostly) drama-free family. The nights when my friend C came over just to hang out, watch bad tv, and make sure I was still laughing. And just to prove that despite all the gloom still hanging around, the sun continues to poke its way through at even the most unexpected times, the gorgeous flowers that were delivered this morning to brighten my day:
How does Dan even have time to think of this when he's working so hard?
I am so lucky to have the most loving and thoughtful hubby, a few dedicated (and truly persistent) friends, and an incredibly sane, stable family. They have all made the difference in ensuring this month was "not too bad," instead of the horror it could have become. So my favorite thing right now is not that it's Friday (although that's a close second). My favorite thing about today is that despite everything, I am still able to face it -- and the next weekend, the next week, the next month, and maybe even the next 11.5 months -- with a smile.
Happy Friday everyone! Hope you all have wonderful weekends planned!



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