February 20, 2013


So here's an awkward situation. I was feeling kind of down on myself yesterday (for reasons that will soon be obvious) and didn't feel like blogging. At some point during the evening, though, I decided that it might be fun interesting possible to turn my bad attitude into blog material: namely, a few confessions. "It'll be great," I told myself, "writing about it will make me feel so much better!" So I opened up a new draft and started a list. I typed a little, did some other things on the internet, came back to add a few more ideas, read a couple blogs, added more to my list... rinse, repeat. Before I closed my laptop for the night, I saved that sucker and slept a little more soundly, knowing that I had a post all ready for today. 
Imagine my surprise when I logged on this morning with two more brilliant confessions to add to my post and realized that I had myself one heck of a long list of terrible things. Just reading through the list made me a little squirmy, and I seriously considered cutting a few items trashing the whole idea to preserve a little dignity. But in the end I decided to break it up into two posts, so as not to overwhelm you me by detailing too many of my character flaws at once. So with a little bit of a wince, I present to you...

Confessions, Part I

[We start with confessions that are specific to my day off on Monday. It was a doozy...]
-- Since I had a lot planned for the day, I thought it would be a great idea to take pictures of what I was up to each hour for a "day in the life" post. I was super excited and right at 7:00 I took my very first picture, curled up in bed reading with the cat snuggled at my feet. A little later I headed outside for a run, and even though the sun was shining and the light in our neighborhood was gorgeous, I was only focused on my numb fingers and just how far I was willing to lower my standards of the run before I could head for home. It occurred to me while I defrosted that I hadn't snapped a picture for my 8:00 hour, but I decided I could at least post a screenshot of my RunKeeper app. Around 9:00, I took a picture while I cleaned our bathroom (exciting!), and at 10:00 I snapped a shot of my chai latte and a cozy corner of Starbucks. And then... that was the last picture I took. It didn't even hit me until 3:00, after I'd failed to document several errands, 30 minutes at the Chick-fil-a drive-through (I have one lucky husband), and several large credit card swipes (more on that later). Oh, and there was an hour's worth of history reading for class... and this is where you, dear reader, think "Boy, I'm glad she didn't follow through on this because it would have been pretty boring." All-around fail. (But you're welcome for sparing you the bathroom-cleaning picture.)
 -- It's probably a good thing that I didn't even make it until noon of my "day in the life," because the afternoon was a little rough. First, I got sucked into the vortex of one of my favorite clothing stores and emerged with two pairs of pants (needed), an over-priced sweater (not needed), and a rather large hole in my wallet (I bet you can guess). I did not, however, manage to acquire either of the two items I needed in the first place... excellent. Still reeling from what can only be explained as an expensive blackout, I chose to eat my feelings and made myself a huge bowl of pasta for lunch. It's really a shame that I didn't manage to catch photographic evidence of that gluttony... especially because the pasta was chased just an hour later by a milkshake, brought home by my (enabler) husband. I went to bed Monday night overly full and more than a little guilty.
 -- Before we move past the day that was Monday, I should also confess that my run that morning -- the first outside in over a month -- nearly killed me. I sorely misjudged the temperature, and for the first two miles my hands and face were so cold that I was actually in a lot of pain. By the time I finally warmed up, my endurance (what endurance?) had run out and I was struggling. In the end, I pushed through 3 and a quarter miles before finally giving up, and I collapsed into a sweaty heap just inside the front door. The days of casual 8-milers on a weekday afternoon are clearly looong gone.

[We've (thankfully) exhausted Monday's confessions, so from here on out they get a little general... but certainly no less embarrassing.]

 -- On Sunday, we signed Teddy up for his very first puppy obedience class. One might think that I'd be looking forward to taking this important step towards a well-behaved pup. One might be wrong. In fact, I'm pretty terrified to give up the "he's just a puppy, he doesn't know any better" excuse. Once we start classes, Teddy's behavior becomes a very obvious measure of our parenting skills, and while I have a lot of confidence in him, I'm not sure how much I have in myself. I'm already having nightmares about our first class that usually involve Teddy running around and jumping on everyone and everything while six other puppies sit, stay, and make judgmental faces at me.
 -- On average, our clean laundry stays in the dryer for at least three days. Most loads are subject to at least one case of "Well, they've been sitting in there for a while... let me just turn that back on for a few minutes to get those wrinkles out." My poor husband's shirts are perpetually wrinkled.
 -- Am I the only one who can't stand Kristin Wiig? How about Conan O'Brien? Cameron Diaz? Should I just stop?
 -- I am terrible at meal planning. Every few weeks, I write out a menu and a grocery list, trying hard to judge things like shelf-life, prep time, and leftover potential. I usually go to (cringe) two grocery stores to get everything on my list and more for a reasonable price (and also because I have an unhealthy obsession with Whole Foods). Then two days into my plan, I get a craving for something and start playing tetris, trying to shift my meals around to accommodate whatever it is I'm absolutely dying for. That's always the beginning of the end, because even if I do manage to reorganize and get back on the train, within a day or two something has gone bad and I'm back at the store to pick up three more things. It's truly embarrassing how often I darken the door of our closest Harris Teeter.
 -- In a related confession: I am terrible about cleaning out our refrigerator. The back half of the fridge is where leftovers go to die. It's not pretty.

Oooook, I think that's quite enough for one day. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for another dose of self-confidence (for you, not me). And if you're feeling kind, feel free to leave me one of your own confessions. Unless you're perfect, in which case... why are you reading about me?



2 had something to say:

Jenn said...

Good luck with the puppy training! I am sure Teddy will behave, and even if he's not the best, he is just a puppy. Don't be too hard on yourself - we all have our not so great and way less that perfect moments :)

Meg said...

Thanks so much Jenn, you're too sweet! I'm crossing my fingers that Teddy will do fine -- he is actually really well-behaved at home and has already learned several commands, I just hope that he won't forget it all when he's in a new environment! Either way, he's so darn cute that he can get away with almost anything :)

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