February 25, 2013


I don't usually talk about fashion because, well, I don't really have any. I tend to lag behind the trends and you'll never catch me in an outfit that could be described as anything more complimentary than "safe." No matter how well I think I match each morning, I am always blown away by the style icon that is my boss, who looks like she's just stepped out of a magazine but also like looking so good is the most effortless thing she will do all day. I have made many a purchase with her impeccable taste in mind, and I hope that she hasn't caught on to the fact that her unique but adorable nail polish choice this week will usually be mine next week (I'm shameless).
Though I have no style sense of my own, I am certainly not deterred from passing judgement on others. It would be a shame to let the hours I spent yawning through the Oscars last night go to waste, and since I haven't seen enough of the movies to formulate an informed opinion, I thought I'd share my (similarly uninformed) opinions on the other big story of the night: the dresses. I'll hand you your grain of salt now, and then we can get started...

The Best

Ms. Octavia Spencer has a stunning personality and wore a dress to match. I love the draped shoulders and the classic color on her. Her nominee presentation was equally adorable, and I definitely chided the audience from my couch when they failed to laugh at her joke. Such a class act!

Despite some of the criticism floating around, I thought Amanda Seyfried looked incredible. The cut of that dress is made for her (enviable) figure, and while it might have been impressive in a bolder color, I thought this was beautifully understated and elegant. It certainly doesn't help that she is a pretty fantastic singer in the sea of mediocre Les Mis musical talent, either (I'm looking at you, Mr. Crowe).

 I have no clue who Lara Spencer is (ok I'm lying, Google tells me that she's an anchor on Good Morning, America, which explains why I've never heard of her), but boy did she do well with this little number. Apparently I have a thing for off-white, and the sparkle on this one hits just the right balance between boring and kid's crazy art project.

If you know me even a little bit, this doesn't surprise you at all... Jennifer Aniston could have worn a trash bag and still made my best list. Despite my bias, this dress is fantastic and she is probably the only person who could have kept me completely focused on the person standing next to Channing Tatum (I'm kidding, sweetheart!)
The Best Couples
 (I'm making my own rules here)

A couple who isn't a couple, but still an adorable picture of Zero Dark Thirty stars Jessica Chastain and Jason Clarke.

 Again, NOT a couple. I'm a sucker for anyone who brings their daughter to the awards, though, and Jamie Foxx's daughter Corinne Bishop was adorable and super poised on the red carpet.

 Bryan Cranston and Robin Dearden looking cute and not-at-all-strung-out-on-drugs... a little less Walt, a little more Hal.

And of course Bennifer, included mostly for the sweet shot of Jennifer tearing up in the audience when Ben announced to the world that their marriage was "work, but... the best kind of work." Amen to that.
The Worst

Swing and a miss for the usually gorgeous Halle Berry, who looks like she might have ridden in on the Enterprise with Mr. Shatner.

Amy Adams is adorable, no doubt about it, but the decision to wear 300 pounds of gray tulle was definitely not one of her best. I missed her on the red carpet but kept catching glimpses of her beast of a dress in the front row, and by the time I realized that it was her under all those layers, I was so sure that the dress was a ploy to get an awesome seat that I just couldn't forgive it. Try again next year, Amy.

The fact that this was the only picture of Anne Hathaway's dress PG-enough for this blog says it all. Did she look in a mirror before she left home?

There are really no words for the spectacular disaster that is Kristin Stewart. My favorite tweet of the night (retweeted via a friend): "Has anyone told Kristen Stewart that she's totally allowed to not be a movie star if she wants out?" Poor Harry Potter...
The Questionable

I'm honestly torn here. I love Sally Fields, but I hated her in Lincoln. I adore the top half of her dress, but the ruffles at the bottom make me ill. 

I get it: if I had once been Bridget Jones, I would want to show off a newly-discovered teeny tiny waistline whenever possible, too. This dress flatters a little too much for my taste -- I'm not particularly interested in all the curves that it outlines so well. The color is great, but the spandex illusion isn't.

I loved the movie Ted, terribly offensive jokes and all. There's just something about a talking teddy bear that gets me every time, no matter how awful the words coming out of his mouth might be. I'm not going to get into the specifics of his appearance last night, but I do think that it might not have been the best venue for our little fuzzy friend to let fly. Mark Wahlberg's face in this picture really says it all. I can't lie, though: I'm absolutely dying for the sequel.

But the biggest question of the night: where in the world was Emma Stone? She helped Seth MacFarlane announce the nominees back in January, but she was nowhere to be seen on the big night itself. Did her limo get lost? Did Ryan Gosling say "Hey girl, lets spend a quiet night at home?" There's got to be a good explanation...

Happy Oscars, all!



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