Catching Up

Oh hey there, neglected little blog. What's that? It's been a whole week? Really, please, don't remind me. Of course I still care for you. Don't pout like that. Trust me, in the next 12 months I will be much more attentive. Maybe a tiny bit whiny emotional. Definitely a little nostalgic. Probably even a little too wordy at times, when the cat stops listening and I need a place to vent. Don't you worry dear blog, I'm not going anywhere.

The past 8 days flew by at a pace that made my typical life speed seem like an evening stroll. Memorial Day? I barely even had time to notice. A whole week away from work? I don't think I even thought once about the fact that I was on "vacation." Even my built-in recovery day yesterday whizzed past without even a foot hovering over the brake. I know I always talk about how quickly the weekends go by and how fast my limited time with Dan has become past tense, but this week had to break some kind of land-speed record.

After a week away, I really owe you some sort of real post. Some honest writing, a witty joke or two, and maybe even some pictures. Lots of stories about my last weekend with Dan, the fun we had with friends, and how hard it was to say goodbye. I do have all of those things to share, but the truth is that the week has left me exhausted, both physically and mentally. I've barely slept in the past three nights, driven countless miles over the last week, and done my fair share of crying. I am dying to curl up and get a long night's sleep, but these days the only time that I'm not tired is when I lie down and stare at Dan's pillow. So from my exhausted and slightly overburdened brain, I leave you with just a few thoughts (and the promise to write about our week in the near future):

 -- I have the most incredible family and friends (who are basically family) in the world. I have been completely overwhelmed with the amount of support they have shown in the past few days and weeks for both Dan and myself. They have rounded up their young kids to join us for "goodbye" gatherings, promised care packages to Dan and girls' nights to me, driven me or accompanied me for hours on the road, and texted, facebook messaged, and called in a huge amount of love and encouragement. I am so very lucky to have these people in my life and feel so comforted that even though the next year is going to be tough, I have lots of amazing people to help me through it.

 -- My hubby could not be making this lengthy, demanding, and frightening journey with a group of nicer or more capable soldiers. I was able to meet lots of Dan's closest friends and coworkers this week and am thrilled to know that he is heading out with people who are absolutely the best at what they do. I am also really encouraged to know that "his guys" (and girls) are not only highly experienced and well-trained, but truly respect and care for each other as well. Several of them also have very sweet wives and I'm hoping to keep in touch with them while our husbands are away.

 -- Goodbyes are hard. Coming home to an empty apartment is harder. I never thought that the formerly-annoying pile of Dan's clothes in the corner of our bedroom would make me cry, but the knowledge that he won't be back home for an entire year has hit me in unexpected ways. Last night I opened the refrigerator to grab a drink and was stopped in my tracks by the bottle of vitamin water he intended to take with him when he left on Wednesday. Pathetic? I'd probably rather you not answer that.

-- 2 months apart sounds long. Tack on a quick weekend together, and then add 10 more months away? Let's just say the next two months are going to fly by. I guess that will be good and bad: I want to get all of this over as quickly as possible, but I also want to be able to bask a little in this shorter separation, while communication will be relatively regular and I know that I'm not too far away from seeing his face.

This weekend is going to be busy and hopefully fun enough to distract me from the sadness of this week. I am spending time with a friend tonight and attending my brother-in-law's high school graduation tomorrow, plus I have lots of laundry to do, books I want to start, and lots of miles to make up from the past week of barely any running. Hopefully I can get some sleep too and start to feel a little like a real person again.

Happy weekend, everyone!

   Love,

    Meg

Friday Favorites

My list of favorites this week is simple:

After a few too many weeks of this...

... I have gotten to spend the past day and a half with my favorite person:

Following a long two days of Yellow Ribbon ceremonies and speakers and officers' dinners and hails and hooahs, we get to enjoy the next four days at home together.

This schedule for this weekend includes one night here...

[courtesy of]

... and a little bit of this:

(local wine tasting)

with some of our favorite people:

(my best friend and Dan's brother)

... and their lovely significant others!

We also have a birthday party for our niece and nephew, a farewell dinner with lots of my family, some quality cuddling with the cat, a date night, a few errands, and lots of goodbyes to squeeze in before the departure ceremony. 

Luckily, though, my favorite thing of all this Friday is a piece of good news that involves one of these:

... and a weekend trip to see my hubby in a few months. Hurray for 4 days of leave! I am so incredibly grateful that this weekend is not goodbye, but "see you later."

Needless to say, I will be a bit preoccupied with spending as much time with my guy as possible in the next few days. I'll be back later in the week though! Happy weekend, everyone!

   Love,

    Meg

When You Wish Upon a Blog

Ahhh yes, it's one of those Tuesdays. The weekend seems impossibly far away (even though I have Thursday and Friday "off" this week), my coworkers are dancing all over my very last shred of patience, and I'm pretty sure that my brain is starting to flood with all the rain. My evening is calling out to me with a big glass of wine, a warm blanket, a funny movie, and a pint of Phish Food fro-yo... I just have to get there first. Until then, here are a few items from my wish list that have been frequenting my daydreams of late:

The fact that none of the furniture in our apartment matches is starting to get to me. I don't dislike any of the pieces on their own, but hate the fact that our living room looks like a four-year-old threw together a bunch of magazine clippings. More than anything, I am so ready for a real bed with a headboard and matching bedding to replace our dinosaur box springs. That's right, there are dinosaurs on our box springs. Thankfully they are covered with a sham, but I still know they are under there. I am so in love with the bed, couch, and chair above (all from heaven-on-earth-aka-Pottery Barn) I could just crawl right into the pictures.

My closet is positively crying out for both of these lovely creations (from the amazing Kate Spade). One for fun, one for business. Flirty vs. professional. Both equally adorable. Why choose?

I have been lusting after one of these babies for quite a while now. I was working on convincing myself that it's a practical purchase and will save me money in the long run, but when I discovered this weekend that they brew iced coffee and iced tea, I knew I was a goner. Any bets on how long I can hold out? I'm guessing it will be only as long as it takes for Dunkin' Donuts to start selling K-cups, which should be later this year.

I have been struck by a serious craving for unhealthy food lately. I'm pretty sure that my body is rebelling against all the healthy stuff I've been force-feeding it lately, because I have been positively dying for a greasy, fattening, calorie-dense feast. Preferably one that includes some (or all) of the above dishes. If you need me, you can find me at the gym for the rest of the month: either in a desperate effort to avoid this kind of meal, or recovering once I eventually give in.

At the very top of my wish list though (as always) is this guy. I'd gladly forfeit the bed, the shoes, the coffee, and the calories if it meant my handsome husband could come home to stay. I am so excited to see him on Thursday and have him home for several days, even though I know it will be bittersweet. Luckily, he proves to me over and over again that he still knows just the right way to make me smile, even from miles and miles away.

What are you wishing for on this dreary Tuesday?

   Love,

    Meg

Movin' On Up

Happy Monday, everyone... if such things exist? I am certainly dragging a little bit today, especially after a tough run this morning -- my legs feel like they've been switched out for two concrete slabs. Luckily I only have to make it through three days at work this week. Thursday I head off to a two-day yellow ribbon ceremony for Dan's impending departure, and then he (and I) have off Saturday through next Tuesday. Wednesday we have another departure ceremony, and then he is off for mobilization in Indiana for the next two months. I can certainly think of more fun ways to spend our vacation time than preparing to say goodbye, but I'm still pretty excited to spend a few more days together.

This weekend was busy busy busy. I was feeling crazy motivated on Friday after work, so I headed out to get my weekly long run out of the way. Thankfully, it turned out to be one of the first afternoons all year (roughly) that didn't include a massive thunderstorm, so I was able to stay (at least partially) dry for 8 miles. Ha, who am I kidding? I was still soaked when I finished, plus I had a lovely little war wound chafing incident under my right arm. I had no idea those things could hurt so badly. I was in absolute agony when I finally finished, and let's just say the scene in the shower was not pretty. I'm pretty sure I'll be investing in a stick of this:

... sooner rather than later.

I was also thrilled to find a package waiting outside my front door on Friday evening filled with over $100 of clothes from one of my favorite stores... for which I did not pay a single cent. Hurray for gift cards and sales! I got a dress, an adorable skirt, and five great new shirts that I can wear both for work or on the weekends. I'm so glad that the weather is finally warm enough to wear skirts and dresses and sandals!

Saturday morning, I made the two-hour trek up to my best friend's town, where she and her boyfriend were moving from one apartment to a cute little townhouse about a mile down the street. Since my bestie M is the super-organized and always-prepared type, they actually finished moving (almost) everything from the old apartment to the new place before I even got there. That afternoon we put furniture together, unpacked boxes, got the kitchen squared away, placed rugs and tables, got the dishes washed and food squared away, and did several loads of laundry. That night we ate a fantastic dinner from their favorite Italian delivery place, which confirmed my fear that if I ever live in a place where someone can be paid to bring a large bowl of pasta right to my door, I will never leave my house or turn on my oven again.

I went for a quick run Sunday morning to explore their new neighborhood. It was so great to run in a new city, meet a few new puppies, and just enjoy a change of scenery. I helped M clean their old apartment and round up the rest of the stray belongings hiding in the backs of closets, and we made a quick Target run before I left. Incredibly, I did not make a single purchase at Target... a seriously impressive feat of self-control if you know me and my love for that store.

When I got back home last night, I was apparently still in cleaning mode... which was only aggravated by a certain feline who appears to have thrown a wild party while I was away. I scrubbed and tossed junk and organized for several hours last night before falling into bed completely exhausted. Since when do weekends end up being more work than the workweek? 

All in all, though, it was a wonderful (and wonderfully productive) weekend. I was so glad to help M and her guy get all settled in in their lovely new place... and I can't wait to go back and visit again soon! Hope that you all had great weekends as well, whether they were busy or relaxing!

   Love,

    Meg

Into the Unknown

To say that I am a planner might be the understatement of the century. I make lists of my lists. I plan menus in my sleep. In college, I often spent so much effort researching and outlining that I nearly ran out of time to actually write the paper. My apartment is afloat with post-it notes and index cards (my mediums of choice) with grocery lists, weekly budgets, songs I want to buy, workout records, and recipes to try. I prepare and anticipate and calculate and schedule every little detail to death and back again, despite the fact that this tends to drive some of the more spontaneous people in my life (including my poor husband) to distraction. Whenever I am upset or stressed, I cuddle up to Dan and ask him to help me: to plan the day, the weekend, the solution to my problems. There are days that I try hard to be a little more impulsive (mainly when my impulses tell me I want ice cream), but the closest I come, usually, is heading out for a run without a route already planned. In general, though, I thrive when I know exactly what to expect... and I figure that at 23 years old, I should probably stick to what I know works for me.

This is where the army and I disagree. I swear that Dan's only job description is "unpredictable," unless it also includes "frequent and drastic last-minute changes." Which makes it a little hard for my ever-planning brain to cope. I can't tell you the number of times I've been mentally prepared for a certain duration of training, a specific return date, or a particular state in which Dan could be found at a given time, only to discover that they would in fact be much longer, much later, or much further away. After almost 6 years, one might think that I would start to get used to this way of life. Let me tell you, a little adaptation would be welcome. But my stubborn self just continues to plan and count on things and write dates in pen... and I still get horribly thrown off track when plans are changed (as they inevitably are). If nothing else, I suppose I'm getting used to disappointment.

When Dan first found out about his deployment, I immediately started to ask questions. (Ok, that's not completely true: first I cried, then I asked questions) I wanted to know everything about everything, to have a clear vision of what our lives would be while he was gone. I quizzed Dan on every aspect of the 13 months: what his mobilization would be like, what would happen when he got overseas, what a typical day would be like for him, how often I'd hear from him, and every single contingency I could come up with. It was here that we encountered problems: I had questions, and my hubby, through no fault of his own, had very few answers. Besides a very rough timeline and general location, the details were fuzzy at best. Dan was not worried, but I was terrified. I needed a plan.

Since at that point we were still over 6 months from his departure, I tried to relax and be at peace with all of the unknown. In reality, I think I spent the first few months in denial, thinking about everything as little as possible and putting off the stress until an unspecific later date. Probably not the best way to deal with it, but at least I didn't let it ruin the holidays. As June 1st has crept closer and closer, however, it's become increasingly harder not to yank my head out of the sand just a little and look at what, exactly, is going on around me. 

In the past 6 months, since we first learned about the deployment, it seems like everything has changed. We jumped from 7 months to 13, Dan's responsibilities during those 13 months have shifted (and continue to change even now), and even his location may change at some point while he is gone. The only thing that hasn't changed? The details are still fuzzy as ever, of course. We don't know exactly when he will leave the country, or how he will get to his actual destination. We don't know how often he will have to make trips off-post, or how reliable the internet access will be. Toward the end of this year, we know that his location is likely to change, but we don't know where he will go or what he will be doing there. We don't know if he will even get a typical 2 week R&R, much less when it will be. Fuzzy. At best.

This unknown factor has been the absolute worst part of the past month, as we "prepare" for Dan to leave. It's hard enough that this is our first deployment and neither of us really know what to expect, but all the extra question marks have made it exponentially scarier. I'm trying to hard to take each day at a time and not stress over all the things I still can't plan, but this goes against every single instinct I've spend 23 years honing. I want desperately to know what the next 13 months will hold for us. I want to know if it will really be as hard as I am dreading, or worse. I want to know that he will be happy with what he's doing there. Most of all, I want to know that I will be able to hear from him -- whether it is daily, weekly, or monthly... I just want to know.

Chances this whole experience of diving off the cliff, not knowing what waits for me at the bottom (nor what the trip down will look like) will force me to become a little less focused on planning my life and a little more focused on living it? Well..... a girl can hope, can't she?

   Love,

    Meg

101 Ways to Eat Pumpkin Mush, or An Extremely Out-of Season Post

I'm going to let you in on a little secret about my newest food obsession, but you have to promise one thing: don't tell my scale, ok? I've been eating so much of this stuff lately, but so far I've managed to keep it quiet during those morning visits with my friend/enemy/enforcer-of-truth the scale. So I think this can stay just between us, right?

A few weekends ago, I was wracking my brain (and my favorite food blogs) for a quick and simple but yummy dessert. I have kind of a thing about making dessert when people come over for dinner -- Dan and I usually work together to plan and cook the meal, but dessert is my area of expertise interest, and I set a rather high standard for myself. I feel compelled to make something new and impressive every time, and even though I tend to stress about it a little more than I should, the compliments and smiles and moans of pleasure (not that kind of pleasure) I am rewarded with make it so very worth it. The first thing that frequent visitors (ie Dan's brother and his girlfriend) ask when they walk in is "What's for dessert?" and I'd much rather eat only broccoli for the rest of my life than let them down. In the past two months, I've whipped up devil's food cupcakes, s'mores pie, sugar-free chocolate cupcakes, cake mix cookies, and carrot cake cupcakes. 

So on the weekend in question, I was short on time but determined to come up with yet another new and fantastic recipe. In my search, I came across a pumpkin recipe of some sort, and immediately my mind wandered back to last Thanksgiving and the incredible pumpkin cannoli I whipped up in a determination to make something with a "little more character" to go with my pumpkin pie. I've never met a pumpkin that I didn't like, so around that time of year I eat as much of it as I possibly can, and I had been searching at the time for something unique. When I first came across the recipe I was a little intimidated (maybe it was the authentic Italian sound), but this is, in fact, one of the simplest recipes you will ever find. So a few weekends ago, I thought about it and realized that no one coming over that night had tried these the first time around. I was sold.

Except I couldn't remember the ingredients. Or find the recipe on my phone at the grocery store. I remembered there being just a few components to the filling (and I knew one was pumpkin), so ended up buying several things I thought might be right. Luckily, I made it home with the vanilla pudding mix and heavy cream (and a tub of ricotta cheese that's still sitting in the fridge). The best part is that our grocery store sells "homemade" cannoli shells for almost nothing -- unfortunately I don't have the little aluminum tubes to make my own shells, although these are definitely on a wish list.

That evening, I heated and mixed up the pumpkin, pudding mix, and cream, stuffed the shells, sprinkled mini chocolate chips on the ends, and gave each plate a little side of whipped cream all in about 10 minutes (not including the time it took the filling to cool). Everyone loved them and I'm pretty sure they were even better this time around. The filling is similar to pumpkin pie but light and delicious, and it goes perfectly with a little bit of chocolate and the shells for texture. I wish I'd had the sense to take a picture, but these barely hit the plates before we were shoveling them in.

Around rolls the next morning, and as I searched for breakfast, my eyes fell on the extra filling sitting in the fridge. Yum. But as tempted as I was to fill another shell or two and have dessert for breakfast (don't judge), I compromised with myself and instead made a bowl of oatmeal, which I topped with a few spoonfuls of the pumpkin mixture. I wasn't sure how it would work, but I was a little excited to try, and let.me.tell.you. It was one of the best breakfasts that I've ever tasted. I'm pretty sure heaven has a midnight buffet full of this stuff. And I immediately started brainstorming what else I could mix into this delicious... mush.

A few nights ago, I added it to vanilla ice cream with a little granola (and more whipped cream, of course):

remember... what my scale doesn't know won't hurt it... right?

Today for lunch, I mixed it up with greek yogurt and granola (no whipped cream though):

... and I'm pretty sure that's what I'll be bringing for lunch for the rest of the week. Heavenly! I'm also considering some kind of cream cheese and pumpkin mix, and spreading it on toast may have crossed my mind once or twice. Really, I'm pretty sure that there is no wrong way to consume this incredible stuff. I'm already on my second batch, and have stocked up on pumpkin for the next several months weeks. I should probably warn Dan that by the time his 4 day pass rolls around, his wife may be exhibiting a bit of an orange tinge (like this guy?). I'm sure lucky we added that whole "in sickness and in health and in times of pumpkin obsession" clause to our vows.

   Love,

    Meg

Weekend Wrap-Up

I was all set for a quiet, calm weekend. I had very little planned and was looking forward to relaxing, catching up on sleep, getting some laundry done, tackling the mountain of dishes which threatens to topple over every time the cat gets close, and even doing a little crafting in all my spare time. Spare time? Ha. My weekend had other plans.
Friday night I headed over to have dinner with my dad and stepmom. They are about to start remodeling their kitchen, and I got to see all their new appliances (which are beyond gorgeous -- I'm so jealous!) and samples of the flooring, countertops, and backsplash. I think it's all going to look great once everything is in... I'm such a sucker for gorgeous kitchens, so now I'm counting the days years until I get to design one of my very own. My stepmom and I watched Black Swan after dinner, which we'd both been wanting to see (my poor father was less than interested but turned over the remote... he knew he had been outvoted) It was definitely intense, but to be honest I don't think it lived up to all the reviews I heard while it was in theaters. I liked it, but I think I was expecting to love it more than I did.
I had planned all week to go for a long run on Saturday, and when I finally got my butt out the door it seemed that the weather was actually going to cooperate: it was cloudy and cool but had finally stopped storming. I headed over to our local university campus, which is about the only place I know to run more than 5 miles without covering the same ground several times over. I was aiming for 8 miles (my longest to date -- baby steps, boys and girls) and was feeling fantastic by mile 5... which is right about the time it started to rain again. At first I assumed I'd have to pack it in and was pretty annoyed that I hadn't gotten in the mileage I wanted, especially since I was sure that I could make it three more miles with no problem. As I headed back to my car, though, I realized that I was kind of enjoying the little shower -- it cooled me off and chased everyone else inside, so the sidewalks were blissfully clear. I approached an intersection and had a decision to make: turn right and go straight to my car, about half a mile away, or go straight and take the long way back, which would get me up to at least 7 miles. I was just about to cross the road, going straight, when the sky absolutely lit up with lightning. I took a sharp right and headed for home -- fast -- and not 10 seconds later the little sprinkle turned into full-on downpour. By the time I made it to the cover of my car, I was absolutely drenched, my shoes were completely waterlogged, and I was sure my poor phone was a goner. Thankfully I had a towel stowed away in my trunk, so I was able to dry my phone (which amazingly survived the ordeal) and bundle up in an attempt to stave off pneumonia. I was really disappointed to only make 6 miles, but under the circumstances I had to give myself a little bit of a break. There's always next weekend!
I had a baby shower for one of Dan's cousins to attend Sunday afternoon, and in true form I had halfway planned the gift but hadn't made it out to do the actual purchasing. It's just so dang fun to shop for babies that I wanted to buy just about everything in the store, but I ended up settling on this classic:

This was my absolute favorite as a kid, and I hope that it will inspire a love of reading in this little one like it (and all the other great books my parents read to me over and over) did for me. I also snuck in a Starbucks gift card for her mama, because I know that she'll need the caffeine in the coming months!
Last night I went over to Dan's parents for dinner and to spend time with my lovely sister-in-law, who is in town with her kids for a few weeks. I got to meet my new nephew C, who has to be the cutest thing in the entire world. There is truly nothing I love more than holding a happy baby, and C and I spend the evening just grinning at each other. Adorable! His older brother and sister have both grown up so much, and it's really fun to see their little personalities start to emerge. I'm looking forward to spending lots of time with them while they're here!
So my quiet, calm weekend became a little loud, a little stressful, and lot... wet. But luckily I was able to get lots of sleep last night, which came in handy when I was slammed with work right as I walked in the door this morning. Thankfully, I have plans with a friend tonight for pasta, wine, and some much needed girl time!

   Love,

    Meg