Just in case you need a tutorial:
1. Schedule a holiday for Wednesday. Preferably one that involves sleeping late, lounging by the pool, enjoying excellent food with wonderful friends, cornhole, beer, a fire pit, and reluctantly driving home entirely too late at night.
2. Upon arriving home quite late on Wednesday night, forget the laundry started earlier in the day. Allow most of the clothes you own to wrinkle overnight.
3. Feel proud that you do remember to prepare breakfast for the next morning, knowing in advance that being alert at 6 AM is likely to be difficult, and will prove nearly impossible without coffee and oatmeal. Forget, however, that one key ingredient for said breakfast was a casualty of the Great Power Outage of 2012 (if I call it that, it means that there can't be another one this year, right?). Resign oneself to bland oatmeal.
4. Upon finally emerging from bed after hitting the snooze alarm one too many times, watch sadly as the cat repositions himself, curling up in your still-warm spot, yawning, and proceeds to lay his head directly on your pillow. Try not to curse the cat.
5. Once at the gym, step onto the elliptical for the billionth time this week. Select the same program as always (to give myself some credit, it is the hardest hill profile the damn thing offers). Look over at the treadmill mournfully, causing right leg to twinge with pain at even the thought of running. Try not to curse the leg.
6. Return from workout to find husband still happily asleep. Know that he is likely to remain in this state for another hour or two. Wish like heck that some days, you didn't have to be at work until 2 in the afternoon, either. Laugh because you know that means you'd have to work until 10 at night, and you are often asleep on the couch by 9.
7. Drive to work in sad old car with no air conditioning. Sweat through shirt for first time today in temperatures already steamy enough to prompt a heat advisory. Resolve to look again for a good deal on a new car that doesn't feel like a traveling inferno.
8. Buy gas on the way to work. Ponder (for the gazillionth time) requiring that a new car run solely on electricity. Or water. Or love.
9. Arrive at work to a completely empty parking lot. Wonder if you're somehow early and have simply beaten everyone here. Realize that you are, in fact, a few minutes late, but that four out of every five employees have taken the next two days off.
10. Sit down at desk to write a to-do list. Complete one page and continue on to a second... and then a third. Fight the urge to crawl under the desk and hide from life and its responsibilities.
11. Dream of the weekend. Realize that the weekend is jam-packed with overcommitment, too. Realize that the rest of the month is similar. Realize that the rest of the summer, in fact, is going to be crazy. Realize that it actually extends past summer, through the much-anticipated September 28th. Dream of the honeymoon. Consider giving up a room with an ocean view for extra pillows on the bed.
Note: Can't say that I recommend following any of these procedures. Except maybe the first one... that was definitely worth it. Hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday!
Love,
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